Uprooted

We all know what it's like to have someone uprooted from our lives. The pain, the confusion, the instability. Over the last year and a half, I've had several people uprooted from my life. Some of them due to their own actions and others, simply because people are busy beings (myself included).


I don't like it when it happens. Relationships I had hoped would forge lifelong friendships kinda vanish and fade into the distant corners of our  memories. Is it painful? You bet! It hurts like hell...especially for someone like me whose love language is Quality Time (yes that came a pretty large surprise to me though it does make sense). 


For me, pouring into relationships means everything. And even as I listened to a sermon earlier on relationships focused on singles called "Solo Mojo" (ROFL, gotta love Greg Boyd) I stood in agreement with Boyd on the fact that we as humans are not meant to live life alone. We are meant to live in relationship with others though those relationships will never completely fill us. They weren't designed to. We were designed to be completely filled by God.


Does that mean that our relationships with other humans can't be rewarding? Of course not! One point he made that surprised me a bit was how in the historical and cultural past,  friendly relationships inherently provided great intimacy though not erotic intimacy. It wasn't uncommon (and still isn't in some places) to find people highly affectionate without being sexual.


I've always longed for deep intimacy (as well as the other) with the men I've loved. I've even yearned for that intimacy within non romantic relationships. Sometimes I've found it. And it seems that lately, God is pulling people back from being too close to my heart. I don't fully understand that. I do think it means that He is going to guide me in a new direction and I am excited to see where that is and where it leads.


In the meantime, it's lonely but God is filling me. It is my prayer that God will fill my love tank so that it runs over and I can pour it out into others...even when it's not reciprocated. It is also my prayer that for those whom God has uprooted from my life, that they would also find great peace and comfort in the God who truly knows what is best for us. I love you and remember you fondly.


~Peace~