Challenge Week 2

"Find a way to give generously and sacrificially of your time or money. You don't have to start up a non profit organization or spend a fortune but if someone asks you for a few bucks on the street, or help with a move, don't say no or make up an excuse. Try saying yes. Find a way to respond generously and don't worry about the results.

You can keep your eyes open for an opportunity (they're everywhere), or plan in advance for how you want to complete this challenge. Either way, do it this week- remember, this can be simple - and you don't have to wait for someone to ask you to do something for them."

This passage is based on Luke 6:30-31 & Matthew 5:42.

This too is something God has been dealing with my heart on a various times and various ways for many years. Recently I came across a couple of blogs by John Piper that have really resonated within me and I'll share them here: http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/2027_i_have_not_always_obeyed_this_command/ and http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/2031_give_to_the_one_who_begs_from_you_part_2/

I believe God has brought me to a place that I'm supposed to give without questioning the motives of the one begging. Within reason, of course. I mean if someone were to ask for drugs, I don't suggest we should run to the nearest crack house and hook them up. But if they are hungry or have healthy physical, emotional or spiritual needs that we can meet, I believe we should.

I was convinced that this challenge would be easy since I am very convicted of this truth. Man, was I wrong!

I have prayed that God would provide the opportunity/ies for me to fulfill this week's challenge. Which I think is a great prayer. I should have been also praying that He would help me to trust Him more to complete it.

Yesterday, I picked my mom up to bring her to my place for dinner. I was missing one of the key ingredients so I had to stop at the store on the way home. I knew we only had a couple of hours to get home, cook, eat and stuff before I would have to have her back home.

So, on the way out of the store there was a woman who stopped us and asked if either of us smoked or had a cigarette. Well, I don't smoke and for about 10 years or so now my mom has not smoked. We simply told her we didn't smoke and I apologized for not being able to meet her need (which I realize is not a healthy need). I certainly wasn't going to go buy her a pack of cigarettes! So, all is good so far.

We started to walk away and head to the car. But the woman kept talking to us as we were the only people around. She was saying something to the effect of really needing a cigarette badly and how she was stranded. Yup, stranded.

Immediately a hundred thoughts passed through my cerebral cavity all the while I kept walking slowly away. As I looked at her piercing eyes a huge part of me wanted to stop and do something. Anything. Something helpful. But, much to my shame, I did not. I walked to my car, got in and drove off.

As I was driving I thought about the pang of guilt I was experiencing and considered my options or in clearer terms, I began to make excuses. "I had my mom with me and we were on limited time" I told myself. "She didn't actually ask for something I could have provided and didn't" was another thought. It crossed my mind that I could have put myself and mom my at risk of danger by offering this woman a ride to..wherever.

And in the busyness of the evening I put it out of my mind and went on with my plans. We came home, made dinner together and had a great meal. We visited for a bit and then I took mom home. We had a great evening together.

Later when I was alone with me and God, I began to replay the event in my mind. Over and over again, I kept being drawn back to the look in her eyes as I walked away. I was reminded of the story of the good Samaritan. Something I was fully aware, that I was not.

I also was reminded of Hebrews 13:2 Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

....and I wept. I wept knowing that I failed. That although God has clearly taught me to help strangers, I am not as willing to obey as I thought. At least not without question. I wanted to help. I did. But I still made excuses. I'm not sure why. Could it have been that I feared taking risk? Possibly. Could it be that I simply didn't want to be confronted with it in the midst of my plans? Sure. Was it maybe that I prejudged this woman by her appearance? Perhaps.

I don't know exactly why I didn't respond how I think I should have. But I feel horrible about it. Not that I think He desires for me to feel horrible but that I know in my heart I could have done something and didn't. I know He loves me and forgives me for not responding in faith. But I pray that He give me another opportunity and that I won't waste it. That I won't be selfish. But that I will be willing to hear His voice and do as He asks.

Challenge Week 1

"Show some love to someone you think is undeserving of your favor. It doesn't have to be a grand gesture and it doesn't have to cost a cent. But it does have to be genuine and no strings attached."

This week's challenge did not come as a surprise to me when I got it (there were different challenges). It's something God has been speaking to my heart about for at least two years. Is it easy? By no means. But is it possible? To live in such a way that we can overcome our dislikes, prejudices, judgmental attitudes, etc. toward others and be so radical as to love them? Absolutely!

Jesus was our example in how to love selflessly. He regularly stressed living open-handedly and without expectation. How can we learn to do the same? By desperately relying on Him to change our hearts and give us opportunities to put the same principles into practice that Jesus did.

Jesus forgave those that were nailing him to a cross. He asked his Father to do the same. Are we willing to see them through the lens of love? Would we dare ask our Father to forgive those that would harm us? Those that would belittle us? Those that are combative, confrontational and provocative? Are we willing to do good to them as Jesus suggests?

Yeah, it's not so easy and I'm struggling with this to be honest. But God is changing my attitude toward the notion and I pray that He give me a heart that willfully obeys. The desire is there and He is and will bring the opportunities.

I won't share what I did to complete this week's challenge or to whom I did it to. I will say that it wasn't a grand gesture nor did it cost me anything. But it was sincere and it came with no expectations of anything in return. And the individual that I loved in a small way was surprised. Did they see God in it? Most likely not. But I am able to grow and become more like Him when I can try to see others as people of unsurpassable worth to a God who loves them.

Small Group

I recently joined a small group at church (my first time) and it's been really interesting so far. I am not allowed to share anyone elses personal information (nor would I want to) but I am allowed to share my own experiences.

The group is called Reset and we are attempting to reset our assumptions about Jesus and try to more fully grasp who he was through scripture reading, sharing personal insights, introspective homework and weekly challenges over the next six weeks. You can learn more about it here: http://kensingtonchurch.org/messages/

I've found it quite rewarding already and my weekly challenges (we've only had two so far) have both been on issues God has been speaking to me quite clearly about for a while now. I hope to share more about each in the next couple of blogs. Looking forward to being honest, reflective and transparent as I navigate through this journey.

~The Attimeister~