I'm sitting here considering some amazing conversations I've had recently with my friend Mike, and just how important words are. I can be a very analytical woman when attempting to understand other people's usage of words, and as well as my own.
I'm not the most educated woman in the English language but I do have a great desire to communicate effectively. Sometimes that is difficult because of differing tongues, dialects, definitions of words and applications to name a few reasons. It's easy to misunderstand and be misunderstood.
I remember recently during the Tear it Down series at my church. A profound point my pastor made about the process of tearing down walls is that we should "seek to understand before we seek to be understood." That was an excellent point that I'm taking to heart.
I'd like to, in brief, contrast two situations that occurred recently in my life where communication failed. One was this past week when I attempted to talk with Asia about some things that we need to work on in our relationship. I tend to get very frustrated with my kids sometimes, because quite frankly, they hear the words that I'm saying and interpret them so differently than I'm meaning them. And I bet they would say that I do the same.
I wonder sometimes if it is simply because we lack the patience to listen to the person's intent and so we impose our own intent upon their words? Now lest I be misunderstood, I think we all fail to find the words to adequately express exactly what's going on inside of our hearts and minds from time to time. Plus, some people are just better orators than others. And some like me, are just being loquacious. LOL!
Back to my examples... during my conversation with Asia, I realized that she was misinterpreting my words because she would tell me that I was saying things that were nowhere close to what I was saying. And I do try to be pretty concise with my words. Whenever I would attempt to clarify she would once again tell me that I was saying something other than what I meant. It may have been a failure on my part that I need to work on, and I intend to!
Another conversation was with a friend where we are just beginning to learn each other so we don't have the history behind us to really know how the other thinks and expresses their thoughts yet, so there is a lot of room for miscommunication still. And miscommunication we had! I think we both walked away from that dialogue feeling a bit misunderstood and disappointed. Inevitably that happens when communication breaks down.
In both of these instances, for whatever reasons, each of us walked away hurt, disappointed, rejected or whatever. And I have no doubt none of us would have foreseen that or desired that. And even after the fact, I doubt that any of us are content with that.
The scriptures tell us that our words have the ability to kill and destroy or to create life. Words are so much more than just letters on a page or sounds that we utter. They do indeed convey our deepest innermost thoughts and feelings on subjects but they are Oh so much more than that!
Today I had the wonderful opportunity to try again to have a conversation with my friend and to find understanding between us. And thankfully, I believe we have done that. We found life in our words and I'm thrilled about that. I thank God for that.
Unfortunately, I sense that it is going to take much more effort and time, expression and listening skills for Asia and I to find a mutual understanding. But it is my prayer that our interactions would never leave us dead inside....lifeless. And I know that God cares about these things so I expect them to change.
May we all endeavor to be slow to speak a quick to listen (James 1:19) so that we don't become angry and sin in our anger.
Love and blessings,
~Linda~
