Legacy

Yes, it's a topic I reflect on from time to time in my heart and mind. Not entirely sure why. Perhaps it's because I am reminded of just how quickly life can end, this time of year. Today perhaps, it's because I'm allowing myself to unpack some of the emotional reaction to the shooting in CT. Surely my response to Yahoo chat discontinuing, plays a part in my reflections as well. Not to mention that I sometimes consider my own mortality and how I would like for my kids, grandkids and those I knew, to remember me when my time comes. Yes, that is pretty morbid I realize, but it is what it is. My thoughts here will definitely be fragmented but thanks for bearing with me through it.


As Yahoo chat came to an end December 14th, I felt a great sense of relief that a season of my life is over and new chapters can be written. I made amends with those that I felt I needed to. Others, nothing need be said.

I wrote on my Facebook page a month and a day prior to chat closing "As someone who has spent a great portion of the last decade of my life addicted to the internet via Christian chat rooms, I know very well how the author of this video (it was a video about being addicted to WoW) feels about having wasted so much time. We can't get it back folks. Real life has so much more to offer. And I'm committed to finding out just how much more!" 


I used to read the etchings in the metal on the park slide in my neighborhood growing up....."(So and so) was here but now they're gone. They left their name to carry on. Those who knew them, knew them well. Those who didn't, can go to hell!" (I don't believe in an eternal conscious torment btw).

I don't believe those words were meant to address the person who has died but one who has moved on in life. But those are actually pretty powerful words nonetheless. In what way have we impacted our family, our neighborhood, those at the park where we grew up, the world? Do those that know us, know us well? Did we take the time to reveal ourselves to them? Did we take the time to know them just as intimately as we wish to be known?

If I were to pass from the tent that my spirit dwells in today, what would my legacy be? I know what I would want it to be. But if I were to ask others, my family, my children, my friends, acquaintances, and even those that consider me an enemy....what kind of person was atti2dchic? Some might have some wonderful things to say. Others, I'm afraid and ashamed to hear what many of them would say.

Just like our story, our journey, the book detailing who we are, is open to be written, so is our legacy. With God's help, perhaps I can leave a legacy that I can live with and be content with. For, for all eternity, I will have to....