Sehnsucht: The Inconsolable Longing

How do you describe something that you cannot even truly understand or wrap your mind around? Especially a profound, deeply intense and lasting, insatiable "longing." In a word, Sehnsucht. It's a German word which I learned about several years ago though I've experienced it off and on my entire life.

Wikipedia says this about Sehnsucht:

"It is sometimes felt as a longing for a far-off country, but not a particular earthly land which we can identify. Furthermore there is something in the experience which suggests this far-off country is very familiar and indicative of what we might otherwise call "home". In this sense it is a type of nostalgia, in the original sense of that word. At other times it may seem as a longing for a someone or even a something. But the majority of people who experience it are not conscious of what or who the longed for object may be, and the longing is of such profundity and intensity that the subject may immediately be only aware of the emotion itself and not cognizant that there is a something longed for."

This craving that I experience is so compelling, that I've sought out how to fulfill it through various people, places and means (some healthy, many others not so much) over the course of my lifetime. Obviously to no avail. With it, for me at least, comes a deep sadness and an emotional stagnancy that I wish I knew how to rectify, as it can feel quite crippling. Alas, I do not! 

I have come to believe that this profound longing is a hunger, thirst and yearning that only intimacy with God can satiate (though human intimacy can mimic it on a very small scale). With eager anticipation, I wish I might have that passion appeased....but I'm all too aware of the implications.

Until that time comes when it is my joy to go home, or unless and until He pacifies me here on earth, I will remain at times....

~Inconsolable~

Trolling Atheists

You do your own ideology and others holding it, a huge disservice. Yeah, it's all fun and games and you laugh, mock and degrade Christians but anyone who seriously wants to engage with others has no need to mock them. A valid point stands on it's own merit. If you have to demean others you either have no valid arguments that stand on their own, or you aren't wise enough to engage respectfully. Sure, others will laugh right along with you but that does not make you right. It just makes them just as incompetent or as immature as you are.

Resistance is Futile!

How is it that I find myself here once again? Angry, hurt, broken. I'm simply undone. I know how I got here and I'm ashamed to admit it. But they say confession is good for the soul, yes? Not only that but God is merciful to forgive us when we confess too. So, confession time it is!

I'm so full of myself that I think I can get others to listen to my advice. It's good advice, and I'm not saying that in arrogance ...it's just honestly good advice. Nevertheless, it is advice that falls on deaf ears. And try as I might, I cannot open ears.

Sometimes people have to learn difficult lessons through difficult circumstances. I wish it wasn't like that but it is. I have learned many difficult and painful lessons by having to go through something that I didn't have to go through. I was stubborn. Yes, believe it or not, I am definitely stubborn.

The last several days I've been angry. Angry at people that I can help but they won't listen. And the last several days God has been whispering to my heart to let Him fight this battle. It's His to fight, not mine. I don't have to be strong. I don't have to be the voice of reason. I don't have to fix things for others. He's big enough to do all of that without me.

I was really not feeling like going to church today (and I didn't decide till the last minute to go)...but the new series is titled Finding God in Unlikely Places. Today's specific service was titled Finding God on the Battlefield. LOL! Oh the irony!

My battlefield at the moment, isn't the battle to save my daughter from making downright asinine decisions. My battle isn't to fix my son's bad grades in school. Though I do need to guide my children in these areas, I am not going to be able to win these wars. These are His battles. My battle is simply to let Him fight the battles that aren't mine to fight. Yes, I do have real battles to fight. But my battles are exclusive to me and my journey. Instead of trying to ride in on a white horse and save the day, today, I'm asking (as did the apostle Paul when he was yet Saul), who are you Lord? And, what do you want me to do?

It's futile for me to try to get others to listen. I surrender to the fact that I am incapable of making anything right and good and neatly packaged with a big red bow on top. I am going to do my very best to simply stop resisting the truth, and yield to reality. It won't be easy...but I do think it will be worth it.