"As you were sharing, I was sitting here thinking about the last supper. Jesus knew who was going to betray him yet he still sat and ate with him, had an intimate relationship with him and loved him. Not only that but Jesus loved those that denied him, lied to him, and eventually abandoned him, knowing full well that they would do those things. And he can teach you how to love like that also!"
These words that my counselor uttered today resonated deeply within me as I sat weeping. Hoping, believing and trusting that it is possible for him to teach me...
I've read the gospels hundreds of times and gleaned a great deal of insight from them. But for whatever reason, I have always somehow managed to disassociate the truth of my counselor's statements with the life of Jesus. I mean, it's easy to consider him doing these things when he was the son of God, right? Doesn't that somehow distract from the impact and the practical implications of these stories? Well, unfortunately it has for me. I don't think intentionally....but it has nonetheless.
The cognitive dissonance I have experienced in relation to this issue, I think, fully came to light today as we sat and examined my own lack of love and intimacy with people who have harmed me in my past. I still harbor resentment, anger and yes, even hatred.
I've rationalized ungodliness with anger, aloofness, judgmentalism (and many other adjectives I could list), because it's a lot easier to ( fill in the blank) than it is to live like Christ. Of course loving in the face of injustice is contrary to our natural inclinations. Who in their right mind would subject themselves to injustice and love and have intimacy with someone who hurt them?
Jesus. Jesus Christ. As I sit here writing this, I consider all the thoughts and the emotions that stir up inside of me when I think of some of his last words, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do!" I well up with tears when I think of that kind of scandalous love. And I'm inspired by it. Truly!
I suppose what I haven't considered is just what it would take to get to the place where those words could be wholeheartedly delivered. That's too hard to think about. It's easier I suppose, to love someone who doesn't realize they are hurting you. But what if they do? Didn't Judas? Peter? The religious leaders of Jesus' day I bet, would not have been in his fave 5. However, weren't the 12? His closest most intimate relationships, even his family, must have broken his heart. On more than one occasion I'm sure. And yet Jesus chose to remain unmoved and undeterred in loving them despite themselves.
~the atti2dchic~
