Eyes: Window to the Soul

We've all heard the old saying that "The eyes are the window to the soul" and I have always believed there to be some truth to that statement. I was reminded of that reality in a peculiar way yesterday and have been reflecting on it since.

We had been hearing on the news of this big snow advisory that we were gonna have yesterday starting around noon. So I decided to run all my errands early before the snow started. After making my way to all the various stores, I was walking to my car preparing to head home. As I was approaching my car I noticed an elderly gentleman walking toward the store, whose path I would soon be crossing.

As our eyes briefly met and I was forming the words to say hello, he turned his gaze away from me and in a split second I became aware that he was not interested in hellos or any sort of conversation at all. Thus, I also turned my gaze away and we walked past each other in silence.

A few things actually entered my mind as I got in my car and drove off toward home. I wondered how it is that we've come to a place and time in society that we close ourselves off from friendly interaction, if only for a moment in passing? I thought about how things have changed over the years of my life in relation to this issue. I wondered how it must have been living in different eras of history. Truth be told (and don't laugh because if you're anywhere near my age, you will know exactly what I'm talking about LOL) I thought about how television depicted a much friendlier and sociable time in The Little House on the Prairie. Everyone said hello in passing. Everyone smiled or greeted each other in those days.

I felt a pang of guilt because I didn't simply smile and say hello to this man anyway. And then I was brought back in memory to several extremely difficult times in my past where the mere hello, smile or positive comments of a stranger pierced through my rough exterior or the false strength I was attempting to portray when deep inside I was an emotional wreck. I learned the power that kindness, compassion and friendliness could have on a very troubled soul.

I remember one time probably nearly two decades ago, I was walking into a local grocery store and had just had a violent encounter with my (now) ex. I wasn't aware that the expression on my face revealed my inner emotional turmoil until a stranger looked me dead in my eye with a huge smile on his face and said "Smile, it can't be that bad." I remember smiling back at him halfheartedly while silently thinking that he couldn't possibly know.

A couple of years later I was in school (I attended adult ed for 4 years to obtain my diploma) one morning and took a break to go to the restroom. While washing my hands and preparing to go back to class, one of my teachers entered the restroom. It was a small ladies room and as she entered and said hello, her eyes met my eyes and she smiled and asked how I was doing. My eyes dropped and I could not look her in her eye and pretend. Her inquiry was innocent and I'm sure she was not prepared (nor was I) for the emotion it unleashed. That morning, just an hour or two prior our meeting, my ex furiously strangled me while laying on top of my 7 & 1/2 month pregnant belly. I don't know what stopped him. Perhaps it was the realization for him that I was loosing consciousness. It was for me though, all I could take. I finally came to the conclusion that I could not keep living the way I was and I ended our relationship.

As I considered those past events in my life I wondered if that is why we in our society so often turn away our glance when we are about to cross paths with others? Are we hiding our pain? Our fear? Our hurt? Are we so weak that we run from any minute threat of vulnerability to transparency? These are certainly possibilities. Everyone's story is different. Each of us struggle with difficulties in life. We all experience pain and suffering, fear and doubt....and we all try to hide the fact that we do...until someone looks into the window of our soul.